Archive for the ‘Zen teachers’ Category

chasing people & pony’s

January 23, 2010

why do i feel it’s my job chasing people? why don’t they just do the right thing? i am not the only one who was rasied with moral values but it seems that way at times. having to write to Canon’s president about software updates, why? this is how i feel.

pony skeleton head

lost pony

chasing the woman who backed into my car last week to save her money on her insurance and possibility myself from a rate hike. i’ve got enough to do in my life instead of chasing people. i don’t mind waiting as i am doing for the image selection from my entry in c4a motion juried show. just to add salt to my wounds those images won’t load here.

well i guess i’ll go about my day as a blank posting, there are days like that and then other days when a client calls to schedule a booking. woo hoo. so that’s life and the first noble truth.

maybe i’ll find another pony today.

winter solstice

December 23, 2009

last winter i convinced mary to go up to st johns the divine to hear paul winters winter solstice celebration. living in new york one has exposure to all these wonderful events. i think it took me 28 years before i made my first solstice celebration so now i’ve made two of them.

this was something i though her grand daughters might enjoy but they are still too young or maybe they will never enjoy a music concert, mary doesn’t think it would be their cup of tea.

but we enjoyed it, maybe not as visual as the summer celebration i first saw but then again is anything able to match our first time at anything? for years i tried to match how great i felt or thought i felt with my first cigarette, although it might have been nauseous but cool. glad that’s over with.

at least now the day will be lengthening and it will soon be time to shed our wraps and let our bodies bask in the sun, woop tee do. i love bodies even this strange one appearing in my mirror everyday. were did that Michelangelo di Lodovico Buonarroti Simoni body go?

but if you’ve been putting this off as i had done for years, i suggest you circle the date , mark you ical or what ever it is you do on 6/1/10 and look at living music site to book your tickets for the summer solstice celebration. st johns  is a wonderful music venue and maybe something will be reborn in you to sing and dance as if nobody is watching which they aren’t.

hey i even bought two cds so i can connect with those moments again lying in bed with my honey and howling at the moon. whooooooo . try it you might like it.

Driving into the sun with kerouac

November 30, 2009

it’s a slow process recovering from rotator cuff surgery but hey i had nothing else planned for these past weeks so why not experience something new? but today as the rain beats against my window and i struggle with my creativity why not remember, memory is so frail and ephemeral, or at least try to some of the more comic events in my life.

this won’t be about pictures although as minor white says ‘i am always mentally photographing every thing as practice.’ just the pictures in my memory or what is left of it, everything degrades with time, becomes warped with the heat of thought. as if a passing thought somehow warps another in its passing by.

this is about a long long time ago, the summer of  1964 in northport on long island new york. i guess it relates to robert franks ‘the americans’ as franks say ‘you can photograph anything.’ but this is a photographic memory without a camera.

that summer i had the job as stage manager/ lighting designer/ driver and a few other jobs i’ve probably forgotten. the theater was the red barn, the show the fantasticks, the town northport ny and the car a 1956 blue and white ford station wagon.

that’s where and why i met jack kerouac . there wasn’t much for me to do after the show  which is unusual for a summer stock playhouse. the show ran for 6 weeks or so with my only duties being running the show and picking up people either in the new york city or the train station. i don’t do ‘having time on my hands well’, at least in those days.

my first form of entertainment was drinking or at least hanging around bar rooms. that was how i got a lot of jobs in those days from my bar room friends but this one was actually gotten through a trade magazine.  after work with nothing else to do usually found me wandering around the town looking for something. that’s where i met kerouac we were both looking for something.

there is a much more informative account of the life and times of jack kerouac in nortport naming people, places and times. maybe not the same people i knew nor who jack knew but more respectable ones with addresses. the thing i liked about nortport was the harbor which was part of the huntington, centerport and nortport harbors. this is primarily a fishing working class village.

how i got involved with these people i am not sure, maybe a self-image problem of mine but at a bar with drinks flowing everyone is equal. there was this guy quite charming even drunk as a skunk who wore these checkered 5 and dime shirts. jack was quite a handsome man before the booze bloated him up as he looked now.

in his early writing career he summered in fire watchtowers alone in the wilderness. anyone able to do that isn’t  a slouch at all, but now he was just an educated overgrown kid. i was amazed at some of the stuff that would come out of his mouth nonstop. he considered himself a jazz musician and wrote that way. my literary knowledge wasn’t developed enough to keep up with him. i was still doing the classics hemingway, durrell  maybe camus and baudelaire. so i knew there was something jack  was talking about.

there never was a problem of finding something to do when the bars were open, the problem came after the bars  closed. what to do before unconsciousness overcame us? the clammer’s usually had to get up early in the morning to haul their catches into the wholesaler at a reasonable time of day. they had a airstream trailer secured to a floating raft in the harbor outfitted with double bunk beds and a small kitchen.

jack and i would sometimes hitch a ride with them to the trailer or out to a tent they had across the harbor. it was pretty neat screaming across the harbor full speed ahead towards the tent with a couple of drunks. some fun with harbor and land lights whizzing by into the darkness winding up beaching the boat at 25 mph or whatever, being thrown onto the sand laughing.

or jack would convince me to go into the city with him to see some friends, maybe score some weed. maybe it was just the drive he liked reminding him of all those miles spent with cassidy driving across the country, or maybe the companionship. it wasn’t a long drive maybe an  hour or so, of course we were probably drunk at least by the legal definition of it. i remember one night jacks friends didn’t answer the buzzer and i had to help boost jack up to the firescape while he climbed up to their windows.

jack didn’t like drugs per say other than booze maybe he just tolerated weed something to calm hm down. we were all looking to escape somewhere and i guess he have more to than i. but we had booze in common and i had the keys to the ford and memories long past. since then i’ve read a lot of his books and understand him more that i am older. i only wish i knew him better then.

this was in soho before there was such a thing. there were no people on the street, no nothings except maybe a few rats running across the street darting under a few parked trucks. there i was asleep in the front seat of a 1956 blue and white ford station wagon. sometimes i was invited in to share in the booty.

but it was the drive home that i remember so well. we drove against rush-hour traffic then but i am sure now it’s everywhere. the long island expressway goes straight east from new york, most of the times right into the raising blazing red sun. it’s a wonder in those days we didn’t kill ourselves not for us not trying but maybe we were watched over for some reason or worst yet to kill some innocent being with our stupidity.

i liked jack but felt sorry for him as his mother controled his life but someone had to as he didn’t seem to be able to. there were a lot of good people in my life that summer. i’ve been lucky in life. that fall jack moved to florida or paris or somewhere he later wrote the esquire magazine article which i bought and read. them he died in 1969, i was sad for he touched me with his humanity.

these thoughts filled my head seeing robert franks work. the freedom of driving across america, europe, panama or anywhere. being an american, cars have played an important part in my life, having them or not having them has always been important. i’ve driven this country alone or with my family staking out a new life.

i could spend hours seeing the sun set across the smooth cool pacific ocean as i am not a morning person. there are times in my life when i wish i had a camera and other times when i do i do nothing. it’s enough just to be there. photography is about the past not the present.

lost another point of light in photography, John Daido Loori Roshi

October 28, 2009

this month October we, the world at large, lost another great photographer and teacher. John Daido Loori 1931-2009.

it was my priviledge to have a few conversations with John Daido Loori Roshi zen priest , teacher, photographer and human being.

I’ve only met him a few times in a casual setting, once at a Change Your Mind day sponsored by Tricycle magazine where he was speaking about his Mountains and Rivers order to the assembled buddhist group sitting on the grassy field in central park. i found him to be a very generous man.

i had asked him a question about reincarnation which other buddhist traditions teach and had been brought up earlier that day. as i recall he said that as far as our atoms being released back into the primordial soup to begin again as some other entity that was about all one could expect.i think he respected all creation and i know he fought hard to preserve his sanctuary and woodland around zen mountain for all beings. his art reflected his spiritual life.

john was an artist/photographer who had studied with Minor White i had always wanted to do a workshop at Zen Mountain Monastery with john. but you know how life is, there was always something getting in the way of taking the time for myself either be it work or money but it never came to be. that is one of my regrets in life.

i have all two of his photography books which if you ever get the chance to do buy. they are still in print at the Monastery Store and the one on creativity.

Making Love With Light is a wonderful study of John’s photography, Zen poems and essays.

Hearing With the Eye are photos from Point , California, makes one remember wandering all sorts of beaches

The Zen of Creativity is about John’s insight on creativity and life. not so much about color photography but more on the creative process as a whole.

i’ve linked these to the monastery store because i believe in supporting the teachings that have helped me. i am sure they can be had from amazon books but i’ve never looked for them there.

I’ve never sat at the monastery nor with john. i do belong to other Buddhist groups namely the Insight Meditation Society and New York Insight but Zen teachers have had a large influence on me beginning with Alan Watts and a non buddhist teacher J.Krishnamurti whom i did see give talks in new york way back when. all of their teachings are still available on-line and in printed form.

i have a very good friend who is a member of the Mountains and Rivers sangha whom i talked to as soon as i learned of john’s illness which even though it’s a big part of the teachings imperemance of this world and time his passing did make me sad. it gives me some comfort to know there are good people in the world even though i don’t know them nor see them regularly it’s just nice to realize they are there.

it’s a big part of metta practice and teachings, to know there are other people in this world wishing me happiness and a good life, even though i don’t know them, they are there. i can be connected to then and this world, even though it’s just a ball of mud and water waiting for its time to evaporate and us along with it. we might as well have some fun and laughs along the way and know that we are loved for who we are.

i just wanted to acknowledge my special feelings about john and other people i’ve come across on my path. yes i felt the loss of this lost point of light, but life goes on until it doesn’t.